After the fight
by lvsvu727
Summary: Just quick one shot of Rollaro after last nights Bar fight...because I still have hope...I still believe in Rollaro...I say this with tears in my eyes lol


Amanda felt angry. She felt angry at herself, her mom, her sister, her father, the douchbags, her previous chief, the assholes, her past, her abuse, the backstabbing women, and all the man in her life than and now.

She was tired and dare she say she was jealous. His voice resounded in her head "are you jealous of Maria?".

Yes she was Jealous, jealous and tired of being the woman he was bedding but he still wanted his ex- wife still held on to the hope of reuniting his family. Tired of whenever he had problems with Maria he snapped at her at work and showed up at her doorstep at night.

She was drunk. She knew that. That was no excuse though. She should of controlled herself. She should of controlled her emotions.

What made her do it? She contemplated as she laid on the white sheets of her bed that she had gotten so used to sharing with him. She missed him. If things had gone differently tonight he'd be here laying next her. Making her weak at his touch. She thought about the way he kissed, and the way he made love to her.

Weak!? she thought. He knew she was weak at his touch. He knew her so intimate, unlike anyone else at her job and that's why he knew which buttons to push. She angered at the thought. He used her. Just like the rest of them…..with that thought she fell asleep.

She walked into the precinct next morning feeling refreshed and miserable at the same time. How would she face him after doing what she did.

She made her coffee quietly which was not unnoticed by Fin.

"hey you ok, babygirl?"

"hmmm…." she almost didn't hear him "uh yeah sorry, didn't see you there"

"yeah….I notice…." He smirked

Nick came up beside them and began to make his coffee. Feeling the tension between them Fin stepped out of the way.

Amanda continued to stir her coffee for the hundredth time. Seeing the swirling in it made her feel like she was going down an endless abyss.

"hey" he said

It caught her by surprised but she answered a very light "hi"

"how are you feeling" he continued

Was he really asking how she was feeling

"um…you know not great"

"sorry to hear that"

Olivia stared at them from her office, wondering what their love spat was about this time. She wasn't ignorant she had been in their position before. She knew they had something going but to what extent she wasn't sure.

Amanda could not look up from her coffee. She knew if she caught even a glimpse of his chocolate colored eyes she would not make it. So she walked away and continued on her day.

As the squad room emptied out and the desks became empty. It was down to Amanda, Nick, Fin a couple other officers.

Nick kept looking up from his desk hoping to lock those big beautiful blue eyes of hers with his like they had many times before. Hoping they could tell him a thousand things like they had not long before. But they didn't. She worked quietly throughout the whole day and then just quietly whispered "I'm leaving".

"uh….I'll walk you" he jumped up almost dropping the things off his desk

"watch it there cowboy" Fin smirked "only cause you're trying to take work home….uhum…I mean trying to walk manda home, doesn't mean you gotta destroy your desk"

Both Amanda and Nick stared at him confusingly

"uh no Nick, I can walk home fine"

"Amanda I'm not saying you can't"

She felt anger building up inside and she blew.

"YOU USED ME NICK! YOU HUMILATED ME"

Fin stared at her and looked over at Nick intrigued

"Amanda…." He started but she was right. He never meant to hurt her though.

"What's going on out here?" they hear a stern voice coming from Olivia

Amanda grabbed her jacket. She didn't need anyone knowing her business specially Olivia

Nick ran after her. Leaving Fin and Olivia speechless.

"uh…don't look at me…I just work here"

"and this is why you don't have sex with your co-workers" said Olivia as she turned back into her office

"you're one to talk" smirks Fin

"excuse me…?"

"you come down on her like it doesn't take two to tango, admit it you realizing they had something going made you treat Amanda even worst, she's trying so hard to get back in your good graces"

"and sleeping with Amaro is the way to do that" she said pointing towards the door Nick and Amanda had walked out of

"not saying that, but Olivia I would think you'd understand. They're young and they still got some issues to work through but did you ever think that they are genuinely happy?"

Olivia looked at him "it doesn't look like they are" she slammed her office door

Fin just shook his head as he felt his family falling apart.

Meanwhile Nick caught up to Amanda at the entrance of the precinct. It was dark out and very chilly.

"Amanda wait"

"what do you want Nick?...do you need a good fuck tonight?..." tears started rolling down her face "how about tomorrow Nick? Are you going to want to humiliate me again or better yet are you going to be leaving to California for a few days again?"

"AMANDA WHAT THE HELL…YOU STARTED THIS…AT THE BAR REMEMBER!...IS THIS WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT….YOU THINK IM USING YOU"

"WHATEVER IT DOESN'T MATTER"

"OFCOURSE IT DOES….I'M NOT USING YOU"

"THAT'S HOW ALL MEN ARE…THEY JUST TAKE….BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS MY FAULT…IM THE ONE WHO OPENED MY LEGS…I SHOULD OF KNOWN BETTER"

Officers coming in for the late shift and officers going home stared at them in confusion as they passed by them

Nick grabbed her by the arm gently and moved her away from the entrance

"DON'T TOUCH ME" she moved away in a frightened motion

Shocked he said "AMANDA WHAT IS THIS REALLY ABOUT?...YOU KNOW I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU RIGHT….YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT….LAST NIGHT I….GOT MAD YES BUT YOU WERE DRUNK….AND…"

"AND WHAT…OH LET ME FEEL SORRY FOR HER….I DON'T NEED YOUR SYMPATHY"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT"

Amanda broke down. She felt like she couldn't breathe memories started rushing through her head. A shove. A push. A slap.

"YOU MAN THINK YOU CAN TAKE JUST TAKE WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS….IM SO STUPID I SHOULD OF ENDED IT A LONG TIME AGO….I SHOULD OF ENDED IT WHEN I HEARD YOU TALKING TO MARIA ABOUT HOW YOU LOVED SPENDING THE NIGHT BEFORE WITH HER IN CALIFORNIA….BUT NO I KEPT FALLING HARDER…SO YES NICK I WAS JEALOUS"

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" suddenly it clicks for Nick "What…that was a conversation about how I enjoyed camping with my daughter"

"You didn't have sex with Maria?"

"what…no…I haven't slept with Maria for almost two years"

"Amanda I wouldn't do that to you….I couldn't do that….Amanda I'm in love with you"

"….no don't say that"

"why?...what are you scared off?

"I'm a mess Nick…look at how I acted last night"

"I don't know what that was about…but what I do know is that that was not you last night"

"no Nick that was really me"

He closed in on her as he placed his hand gently on her face to dry her tears.

"no….that is not the woman you are…the woman you truly are is beautiful, kind, gentle, caring, and I love to hear her giggle, I love the way she says my name when I make love to her and I love the way she can look at me and make my heart melt….and of course it's a plus that she can turn me on by just walking into the room" he laughs " you have no idea how unbelievably hard it is to see you walking around the squadroom and not being able to touch you"

She smiled and for some reason she believed him. She believed everything he was saying, she had no reason not too, her anger had blinded her and she had taken it out on Nick.

"I'm sorry" he continued "you're right I shouldn't of taken my anger out on you in front of everyone"

"I'm sorry too Nick"

"Amanda what is really going on?"

Unbeknownst to them. Fin and Olivia were watching their two squad members from the precinct door. They watched as the two figures embraced under a dimly lit pole.

"Maybe you're right" turned Olivia to Fin "Maybe there is more than just sex to their relationship"

Nick questioned Amanda again.

"Nick…I can't can't"

"Amanda, can't what?"

"he…hurt me…he sexually assaulted me Nick…." It came out almost as just a gasp

Nick now understood…he understood why she acted that way…why she gambled…why she drank

Nick felt like he had hit a five hundred pound brick wall. Anger built up inside him…not at her but at the bastard who had done this to her.

He tried to stay calm to not alarm her "Amanda who?"

"it doesn't matter, it was a long time ago"

"Amanda we can still get the bastard" he caressed her face expressing a wave of concern. She held on to it and kissed it.

"he learned his lesson"

That's why this case had gotten to her he thought

"I just want to go home….Im so exhauasted"

"yeah ofcourse but Manda promise me we will talk about this tomorrow"

"I promise….I will tell you everything"

They started walking down the street hand in hand. Amanda leaned in and placed her head on his shoulder as she wrapped her hands tighter around his muscular arms.

"I'm so lucky to have you in my life"

He kissed her lightly on her head "no I am my love"

"you know…what the best part of fighting is?"

"um….I can guess" he laughed

"the makeup sex" she whispered in his ear " I can't wait to feel your touch and lips all over my body"

The wait was killing Nick.

Finally they arrived at her apartment. As soon as they entered behind closed doors they began to tear each other's clothes off. Nick grabbed her and pressed her against her bedroom door but they were not even able to make it her bed. They fell on her bedroom floor and began to make sweet sweet love. Exhausted and with the sheets tangled in between their bodies they heard a phone ring and without thinking she grabbed it.

"Rollins" she heard a laugh from the other end

"I'm guessing you two made up" said Fin "Now can you hand Amaro _his_ phone please" she blushed at the thought of her partner knowing she was laying in bed next to Nick

She handed the phone to Nick and as she saw him take a serious tone and walk towards the window she thought to herself everything is going to be alright, if they could get through this. They could get through anything.

The End


End file.
